The holiday suprise
by chandeleerluvsduckies
Summary: Edward gives BElla a holiday suprise, but when he gives it he accidently lets bella see something she never should have seen and the explanation he gives isn't soemthing bella wanted to hear.
1. Running in the fresh snow

I grabbed his hand and ran through the snow. Though the snow was falling thickly, I managed to hold onto his hand with all my might. My feet were freezing as they landed hard in the foot-high snowdrifts. Edward turned to me and smiled. I knew we weren't running very quickly compared to the pace he usually ran at and he would love to run faster and I suddenly felt an urge to feel the wind whip my hair and asked, "can I ride on your back again? While you run?"

He looked shocked and questioned, "Are you sure Bella?"

I nodded as he turned around and squatted so I could climb on. I gripped my hands around his neck and his big hands grabbed my feet that I wrapped around his waist. I smelled in the sweet smell of his hair, my body already so numb from the cold that I didn't notice his icy skin. Before I knew it we were running. I opened my eyes and watched trees fly by my face and felt sick; I closed my eyes and felt the wind rushing past us, tightening my grip around his neck. He sensed my fear and held my feet closer to him and reached one hand up and hung it loosely on my arms tangled around his neck which helped me relax as we ran.

As soon as it had started it was over and we had stopped and he sat me down. I wouldn't open my eyes until I heard his voice, "Bella, you okay?"

My eyes fluttered open to look into his eyes and I nodded enthusiastically. I pushed my face forward into his, pushing my lips against his. He kissed me back and my lips never left his as I wrapped my legs around his waist and he carried me to the truck. I closed my eyes again falling into the kiss. I kissed him until my hands were on the wheel when I slowly untangled my legs from him and pushed them in front of me. I didn't want to break the moment and so I stayed silent. Edward, though, started to talk, "Bells, I was thinking, well jasper and Emmett are getting you something now and well, you can't be mad that we got you a present okay? It is really simple and not big or anything. Will you be okay with it?"

My hands hardened around the wheel as he said the word 'present'. I really hated it when presents came into the picture, and not only because of a certain incident of being cut and almost sucked free of blood by Edward's brother. I readjusted myself on the seat and pulled away from the edge of the woods and the meadow we often visited with a look of confusion and anger commandeering my face. I thought Edward knew I didn't like presents, I knew it was nearing Christmas and all, and I guess I had gotten him a present, but I just really felt weird that he would get me a present and pull Emmett and Jasper into too. He seemed to read my expressions, something he was getting much better at, "Hey, it's really not that bad, and the only reason it's going to be kind of public is that I needed there help to get it because, well, I was with you. I promise that Alice won't even show up- just the guys, us, and Charlie," My whole body hardened on the last word.

"Charlie?" I said meekly, my eyes wild, "It's bad enough you got Emmett and Jasper involved now Charlie?"

The last word sounded harsher than I wanted it too, but Edward wasn't mad, he just smiled knowingly. The rest of the ride was silent as I thought and Edward smiled and put his had and my thigh.


	2. The Smile

I pulled in the driveway and pulled the keys out of the ignition, not realizing what was going on inside. Edward was already opening my door by the time I was getting out. He reached in and scooped me off my seat and carried me to the door where I demanded that he put me down before Charlie saw. I opened the door and saw Charlie's gun and belt already hung up. I made my way to the living room and gasped at what I saw.

Scraping the ceiling was a gold star topping a Christmas tree that was taking up about half the couch space. Instead of sitting and watching T.V. like usual Charlie was up and laughing and joking with Emmett and Jasper who were helping him wind lights around the tree. I stopped and took in the scene with a smile. Jasper made a face and said, "Surprise! We cut it down ourselves. Ed wanted to do it but he was off gallivanting with his wonderful girlfriend."

I blushed when he referred to me and all the anger I had been feeling vanished as I realized that Edward really did know me. The sight of the happy Charlie and the Christmas lights warming the room made me feel wonderful, and as long as there were no glass ornaments I would be okay around Jasper. I smiled in spite of myself asking, "Do we have any ornaments?"

Emmett pointed to a large cardboard box sitting in front of the Television that was overflowing with ornaments, "These are the ones we used to put on our tree until we got bored of doing it and now we still have them. I told Charlie it was fine if he used them for your tree."

I picked up the ornament on top and smile it was a little picture frame encasing a picture of the family standing together, while Esme had apparently taken the picture because she wasn't in it. I showed it to Edward and he laughed and exclaimed, "Hey, I remember that when Esme shoved us all together because she wanted one ornament that _she_ could put on the tree," Edward continued at the look of confusion on my face, "All the others are Carlyle's, the nurses always give him presents around Christmas and they are usually corny doctor ornaments."

I noted the truth in Edward's statement when I pulled out an ornament of a teddy bear with a stethoscope and a white jacket. We laughed together as we pulled out ornaments of hot water bottles, thermometers, and even one portraying Carlyle- his face printed across a doctor body. Soon the tree was full of ornaments and we pulled open the next layer of the box, which had something that made me gasp in shock and stumble backwards bumping my leg against the couch, "what, where, why?" I asked in astonishment.


	3. fear

Edwards face was contorted with confusion. His eyes were scared and his chin creased with worry but his fingers curled neatly and calmly and his lips curled themselves into a relieved smile. Jace spoke before Edward could muster up the words, "Bella, don't freak out, let us explain."

Whatever Jace had been hoping for he obviously didn't get it because he kept going, "Bella, I swear it's nothing bad, you just need to listen to what we have to say before you worry."

Bella was confused; she was freaked, but that kind of thing didn't usually show up on her face. Emmett walked over to her and grabbed her shoulders, "Hey Bella do you need a glass of water? You look like death. Your skin is so pale it matches Edwards, and your whole body is shaking."

Bella tried to stop shaking but she couldn't. Her eyes glanced down at her hand that was white and shaking and she tried to use her will power to stop it but couldn't. She averted her eyes from it and turned them instead to Edward. Her eyes were bright with a longing to hear the story, yet her brow was shadowed with an un-willingness to listen. Edward was drawn by her frightening stare and walked over to the couch that she had lowered herself onto and sat next to her, his hand wrapped around hers and her body stopped shaking when she saw the truth in Edwards's eyes, the touch of safety that hadn't been clouded by fear.

Her nod signaled him that he should tell. Edward started by picking up one of the photos and letting Bella look at it again. Bella looked at the beautiful girl in the picture; standing in a silky dress that came halfway down her thigh. Her bronze skin enhanced by the color of Edwards pale skin. Bella was fine that there were beautiful girls in the world, she had gotten her share of them through Renée's magazines, but this was different. This was personal. This girl had an arm around her waist. This girl was obviously _very_ close to Edward.


	4. confessions

A/N: this chapter changes perspective so I could better tell the story. I hope you like it the next chapter will be up wicked soon. Sorry it took so long for me to update

Edward started to talk, "There have obviously been parts of the story I left out," Edward said with a gulp, "this was, my old girlfriend," he said with a glance at Charlie.

I took the cue and closed my eyes and shook my head before standing up and turning my back on Edward saying nonchalantly, "Edward, I don't want to hear about your old girlfriends, I'm going to bed- you should probably go home."

When I glanced back Edward was ushering Jace and Emmett out the door. I hoped he knew I had been trying to get away from Charlie- not him. I took the stairs slowly to my room and sat on my bed. When I felt hands slide around my waist I knew he had come upstairs. I was happy to see him as he slowly appeared in my vision and I turned to him and gave him a bear hug, "Edward, this better be good."

Jace and Emmett looked solemn as they came into the room, their stony looks made my face fall, whatever this was it must be bad.

He started again, "Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you the whole story, but I just never wanted to remember that part of my past. That picture was from when I couldn't read minds well. I could hear the voices but couldn't focus in on one voice in particular. It was the same time that I abandoned Carlyle and went out on my own. I found that the vampire body suited me well; the girls who used to think I wasn't anything special thought I was amazing now and I milked it for all it was worth," I grimaced at the thought of him with other girls, but he stayed steadily in his story.

"There was one girl I had always admired and watched at my school, and when I was free I went back to my old town and would sit under the apple tree whose roots intertwined with the fence that surrounded our school. Her hair had grown long and was jet black and curled beautifully, not frizzing at all. It drew me to her like nothing else did. I didn't know her well, but I knew how she walked and the way she smiled when she was _actually_ happy. I never met another girl as beautiful as her until last year at the beginning of the school year, but back then she was all I could think of . She noticed me and the new way I looked and soon we were together. I had never been well off before, but she didn't mind and I was just happy she liked me and I didn't care that she never talked to me around her other friends. I decided to start going to my old school again just so I could see her again, and actually see her, because all I saw of her were glimpses and occasionally a trip to market to help her pick up things her mother needed. While that was all well and good I wanted to see more of her. When I got to the school I found out that she hadn't told anyone about me and the moment she found out I was attending Toppham Fleet School with her she told me that our relationship should be secret. At first I didn't question her need to keep it secret, but five months later she still thought we shouldn't tell anyone. The school formal was approaching and I was set on her going with me because I was convinced we were in love. I never thought for a moment that she would think of going with anyone else. When I asked her if she would be taking me she looked scared and then whispered 'I thought that since we were keeping it a secret that I should go with someone else so no one knows.' And that made me very mad," Edward stopped and his eyes flickered with a memory I felt radiating from him, it was one of anger and disappointment and let down, one of feeling alone.

Edward gulped and with his first words was no longer radiating that same feeling of cold hurt, "I got so mad that I screamed at her and threatened her I remember saying, 'take me or ill kill myself.' She was worried and I was beside myself; scared of myself- that I would have ever said that, worried what she would do, and still angry at her for trying to use me like I was sure she was doing. In the end she took me to the dance and looked scared and on the verge of tears the whole time. That picture was taken then. After the dance I walked her home and felt bad so I hugged her close. My senses were strong because I hadn't hunted in a week and being close to her was overwhelming," But before Edward could say any more he started choking and tears rolled down his face.

Jace started in where Edward had stopped, "He bit her Bella. He couldn't help himself, it overwhelmed him and…"

Before he could finish Edward yelled, "NO. I'll tell her."

Tears still sliding down his pale cheeks he started again, "I sucked all her blood, I couldn't stop, I was so hungry and human blood was so different. I was left holding her body- dry as paper, knowing that I had killed her, KILLED HER! I couldn't believe it," He was now sobbing and shaking uncontrollably, but he kept going, "I never loved her I realized later, but I could never forget her, never."

With that he sat on the bed and shook with tears in Bella's arms as she sat mouth open, in shock. She had never imagined this could happen to Edward who was always so strong. That he could cry in front of, not only her, but his brothers too.

But when Edward spoke again, his voice had gained back its steady tone and the words that came out hurt Bella more than the thought of him loving another girl had.


End file.
